Francine du Plessix Gray, “Madame de Stael”

This is a physically adorable book: pink, with brown lettering and ornament; modestly sized, discreetly charming…. and apparently the exact opposite of its subject, who was loud, large, and anything but discreet. Still — Germaine de Staël cut a swathe in early nineteenth-century Europe, and this concise biography tells us why. And who better to introduce me to this French woman of letters than Francine du Plessix Gray, who knows a thing or two about France and about brilliant women?

Madame de Stael: no oil painting

Gray’s greatest difficulty with her subject is a substantial one. Madame de Staël’s great art form (despite her copious writings) was apparently conversation, and not the kind we experience even at the best dinner tables. It was, or so we’re told, sparkling, allusive, witty, learned…. you see the problem. We have no way of imagining this.

On the other hand, de Staël knew lots of writers. Who wrote letters, many of which survive, and which are excellent sources here. So that’s the consolation. And Gray is a lucid writer who presides over this tempestuous era with a kind of magisterial calm. De Staël was born in 1766, daughter of Lous XVI’s finance minister Necker, and was educated like… well, a boy. Languages, classics, political theory. At the age of twenty she married a handsome Swede, with whom she had one, at most two children. (We’ll come back to this question.) Do the math — by the fourth year of her marriage, the young matron was deeply implicated in revolutionary politics, but not in any systematic way. To be honest, I don’t remember every step of her ardent political attachments any more than I remember the names of all of her lovers. Gray helpfully points out that most of Germaine’s opinions were oppositional in nature. None was more so than her hatred of Napoleon, which caused her to be exiled from her beloved France for most of the Emperor’s tenure.

Her exile took her to Germany, among other locations, where she met, naturally, Goethe and Schiller, and attracted the scholar Schlegel to her elastic household as tutor to her children, and her own lover. This despite the fact that the French author Benjamin Constant was already ensconced. I tell you, it’s incredibly complicated. And volatile. Gray suggests that de Staël was bipolar, which may be true but is somehow disappointing: I would so much have preferred to think of her as the embodiment of a romantic temperament. But the scenes –screaming, fainting, suicide attempts, tantrums — she engaged in, her fierce energy, her narcissism and generosity, her delusions… well, Gray makes a good case.

In a book this short, you don’t get a lot of anecdote or incident, which is why I cherished one story about de Staël and Madame de Récamier (devoted friends), attempting to climb Mont Blanc and having to turn back because of sunburns on their chests (oh, those Empire dresses!).

On the other hand, Gray is generous with the epigrams: Constant, enmeshed in de Staël’s life for many years, summed her up by saying, “She exerts over everything around her a kind of inexplicable but very real power. If she could govern herself, she might have governed the world.”

Christopher Buckley, “Losing Mum and Pup”

It’s time for a warning to writers of my generation — “Think veeeery carefully before you start that ‘my-famous-but difficult-parents-are-dead’ book. The field is getting crowded.” 

The field is not actually crowded, yet, but as I read Losing Mum and Pup I had that feeling of strained tolerance/enjoyment, as if to say, “I’m OK with this for now, but it had better stop soon.” And I’ve only read two of these, Francine du Plessix Gray’s Them (possibly the best book title ever) preceding Chris Buckley’s

You have to tread very, very carefully on this territory. You absolutely must not whine (Buckley avoids this) but at the same time, we readers are looking for a little acknowledgment of just how monstrous the parents were. I mean, otherwise, why are we reading?  I guess it’s to Buckley’s credit that to this day he believes his father was a great man, but by many standards, William F. Buckley comes up pretty short in the parenting department. The anecdote about walking out on Chris’s Yale graduation (he got bored) being a case in point. 

On the other hand. Buckley son’s point is that both of his parents were larger than life, and there are plenty of stories to support this claim. The one I really love involves a treasure hunt staged on Long Island Sound in which some heirloom silver and jewelry were buried, and lost to the intervention of a hurricane. There’s immense generosity and flair to this side of the WFB fatherhood. The book is extremely funny in places though I did regret that most of the good anecdotes had already appeared in the Vanity Fair excerpt. I don’t seem to be able to learn that particular lesson: just because I liked the excerpt doesn’t mean the book will hold up.

 It felt a little — thin. Buckley writes fluently and cleverly. It goes down a treat. Nice family photos. WFB’s achievements covered with appropriate filial respect. Charming humor about the weirdness and indignity of the death trade. The Buckley parents died in the same year so Chris ended up as a repeat customer at the local funeral home, a fact he found more amusing than they did. But I did wonder, as I read, why he had written the book. Because he’s a writer, I assumed. Because that’s what writers do. Because your parents’ death is earth-shaking to you. Because writing helps you process the world.  

Not until the end did Buckley himself provide the key and I must say, I forgave him everything. He realized that writing this memoir about his parents’ lives and deaths permitted him to spend more time with them. Which I found honestly touching.

I’m done, though. As baby boomers we’ve seen every aspect of our lives examined in the media and colluded in the examination. Enough, enough! We are all going to be orphans, and soon! That doesn’t mean it’s universally interesting.